if i can run in heels then i can drive
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
