Non-Jews are for practice
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
