What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
