Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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