She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize