ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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