her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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