This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
