what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
