wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
