Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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