A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
