I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
there is puke in my bra ... again
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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