ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
