I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
This is my gift to your gina
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
