I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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