Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
