Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
