im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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