I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
That accounts for only three of the penises
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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