So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
