the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
