you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
