I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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