so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
