Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
