it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
