Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
