I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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