This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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