I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
