i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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