St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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