everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
