Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize