how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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