hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
