he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We had to coat check the pizza.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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