Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize