god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
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