I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
