I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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