I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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