i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
