well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
