Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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