The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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