no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
wow bdsm is so cute
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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