Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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