you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
