Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
