I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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