we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
