What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
