don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
