We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
