Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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