the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'm having to shit out rocks
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
