My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
