I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
