Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
