im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
