The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
