I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
