Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
