And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
