We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
