While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
