The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
